Jessica Simpson should probably stop performing in public

Posted by on August 29th, 2008 filed in Celebrity

Jessica Simpson gave another shitass performance in her continuing effort to crossover to country which must be frustrating. I mean, she’s proven she’s illiterate and joined the Klan. What more do these people want?! Anyway, here’s the highlights of her Wednesday night concert at the Avalon Ballroom where Jessica gave long-winded intros to every song forcing The Niagara Falls Review to comment “It might be unfair calling Jessica Simpson’s show at the Avalon Ballroom Wednesday a train wreck. At some point, a train knows where it’s going.”:

On how her man must be ready for anything that comes out of her uterus:
Before the new song “Man Enough,” she said her man must be ready for anything - including the possibility she’s pregnant with an alien.

On Nick Lachey:
Ex-hubby Nick Lachey gets grilled in the bitter “When I Loved You Like That,” where our girl basically says she carried his cheatin’ ass all those years.

On the smell of her farts; I’m not kidding:
“I do pass gas a lot,” she said. “I guarantee it smells like roses.”

A public admission that your ass doesn’t stink despite chronic flatulence. Now that’s classy. I bet you an old man in a top hat put a monocle up to his eye and said “Jolly good show!” That’s how classy it was. Bravo!