Illegitimate Lohan love-child (pending paternity test) wants record deal

Posted by on July 2nd, 2008 filed in Celebrity

Ashley Kaufmann, or may or may not be the fruit of Michael Lohan’s loins, is already angling for a record contract, according to MSNBC:

A record-industry insider says, “Ashley has more talent than Lindsay or Ali.”
A Lohan family source adds, “Ashley’s singing ability just proves that the family talent comes from Michael (Lohan), not Dina Lohan.”

It should be noted the “Lohan family source” was Michael Lohan wearing a pair of those glasses with the fake nose and moustache. He almost got away with it until he went a tad overboard: “Michael should also get his own reality show. You know something wholesome yet empowering. I’m thinking ‘Michael Lohan’s A Father’s Journey: One Man’s Eternal Struggle with That Bitch-whore Ex-Wife of His Who Can’t Shut Her Freakin’ Booze-Hole Unless there’s a Cock in It. Even then.’” Coming this Fall to ABC Family.

Thanks to James who has more talent in his breakfast cereal than these jokers.