HEIDIWOOD SUCKS
Posted by on April 18th, 2008 filed in CelebrityNew York magazine actually took the time, for some reason, to try on and write a review of Heidi Montags clothing line, and put down your coffee and brace yourself, because apparently it sucks. Oh, I know, I was surprised too.
It was bad. So bad … everything we saw still gave us sticker shock. Paper-thin tanks for $27? Flimsy, panty-line-molesting dresses at nearly 40 bucks? Sure, that's a steal compared to Marc Jacobs, but not far enough removed from what you'd pay at the Gap for something that's at least 100 percent cotton and unlikely to give you a rash. When $37 seems exorbitant for a dress, you know you’ve got problems.
No self-respecting grown woman should allow herself to be seen in these garments. Only two of the twelve items have sleeves, and just one — a pair of jeans — extends past mid-thigh. In fact, only one other thing extends past the upper thigh: a dress that would have been mildly acceptable had it not been made from the kind of cotton you usually only see on Target’s discount panties. The stuff was the complete opposite of flattering. We looked like rejects from Rock of Love II
If I had a daughter, and she acted like this or dressed like this, I wouldn’t kill her, but I would freeze her until a time when science had some kind of cure for whatever it is that causes girls like Heidi Montag.
